-by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
For those who don’t know, ghosting is when someone stops texting you without any explanation why. We’ve all had it done to us. But why does it hurt so much?
Probably because it can feel like the ultimate rejection. You imagine that not only isn’t the person interested in you, but they consider you so unimportant that they won’t even take 30 seconds to let you know. They have no problem leaving you hanging for days, wondering if they’re just busy or flaky, until it finally dawns on you that you’ll never see this person again.
Of course, you have no idea what’s going on in someone’s life to make them ghost and trying to guess the reason why is an exercise in futility.
Sometimes it’s because they have zero interest in you and don’t have the guts to simply tell you so. Or perhaps it’s because they’re really not sure whether they want to see you again and can’t quite articulate why. Since they’re embarrassed by the fact that they don’t really know what they want, they avoid revealing this to someone else.
Occasionally, they might still be interested, but something else is going on in their lives, be it a family or work situation, or an old flame coming back. If they texted you telling you it’s over, that would close the door entirely on the possibility of seeing you again. So they leave it open-ended in case they change their minds.
These days when I’m ghosted (no response after 2 texts spaced out over a week), I pretend I received the following text: “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t respond, but I’m not emotionally mature enough to know what I want and/or lacking in empathy for other people. Be thankful you found this out about me now and not later.”
Ultimately, there’s nothing you can do about ghosting. Sadly, it’s become the norm in the dating world these days. The only thing you can do is not contribute to the problem.
People ghost because they’ve been ghosted themselves. If you stop ghosting people, that might create a ripple affect and maybe someday people will start treating other people like human beings again.
Until then, just shake it off. There are plenty of other ghosts–I mean, fish–in the sea. 😉