When Should You Give Up On Dating?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

graphicstock-cartoon-man-waving-white-flag_S78tlpumV-_thumbA surprising number of people—mostly young heterosexual men—are giving up on dating. While it’s true some of those calling it quits are doing so out of a desire to spend more time on their career or other worthwhile pursuits, for most of them it’s because they can’t find any suitable partners.

One poll reported 28 percent of men under the age of thirty didn’t have sex at all in 2018, numbers that have tripled over the last decade and are continuing to spike. While many men are still putting themselves out there, for others the disappointment and frustration have turned into despair and resentment and they’ve thrown in the towel completely.

It’s my personal opinion that if a man chooses not to interact with women that’s his business and I respect his decision. However, as a dating coach I can tell you the vast majority of men who have abandoned dating have done so too soon.

My belief is that if you’re 99.9 percent of the male population, you can almost certainly improve your situation simply by putting yourself out there more. But if you’re not sure how to do that or it’s not currently working for you, it might be time to enlist a dating coach.

Naturally, the cost of hiring a coach is a concern for most guys, as rates can range from reasonable to exorbitant. However, keep in mind that the average American drops over $1,000 per year on beer and another $1,000 on coffee. If you’re willing to spend more on beverages than you are on fixing your dating life, it might be time to reevaluate your priorities.

Of course, price isn’t the main obstacle keeping men from hiring a coach. Instead, the biggest hurdles typically include: an ego that keeps them from asking for help, an unwillingness to take on the necessary discipline, and a fear of trying and failing.

While improving your prospects won’t always be easy as a walk in the park—though sometimes it literally will!—the hardest part is admitting to yourself you could use a boost and then taking that first step.

For all you doubters, let’s say that after putting in the time, energy, and money, you discover you really are a part of that 0.1 percent of the population who is “undatable.” The good news is that at that point, you’ll have the hard proof you need to rest easy knowing dating isn’t for you.

Because if you don’t find out for sure, I promise you’ll always be haunted by what could’ve been.

Wes Colton used to think about giving up on women. But then he swallowed his pride, hired a coach, and completely transformed his dating life. Ask him about it by emailing him at wes@introvertunbound.com

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