If you’re an introvert, socializing might not be your strong suit. But interacting well with people is the key to success in dating, friendships, and your career. Stop settling for less in your life—hone your strengths, shore up your weaknesses, and become the Introvert Unbound!
So what exactly does it mean to be an Introvert Unbound?
We introverts draw our energy from being alone or in small groups. It doesn’t mean we hate people, it’s just that if we’re around too many for too long, we feel drained.
The brains of introverts are different from those of extroverts. With more gray matter– the part of the brain associated with abstract thinking and decision-making–we’re literally deeper thinkers.
Introverts also require less dopamine–the happy chemical that squirts into our bloodstream when we get excited–than extroverts, who have a higher tolerance for it. Satisfied with moderate jolts of the stuff, we introverts don’t need to jump headfirst into reckless adventures to feel stimulated. In fact, too much of it can be unpleasant, like overdosing on a drug.
While this measured, thoughtful approach to life means introverts make some of the most valuable contributions to society and can be extraordinary friends and partners, it can also be an obstacle to socializing, where self-expression is the name of the game.
“Great,” you may be thinking, “but what the hell does any of this have to do with making my life better?”
Okay, here it is: For better or for worse, humans are social creatures. It’s true that introverts like us treasure the time we spend alone navigating our internal landscapes. But to be truly happy we also have to figure out how we fit into society.
Believe it or not, the best way to establish your place in the world is by asserting yourself, sharing the fruits that grow from the rich soil of your deep thinking mind.
It may sound counterintuitive, but by jumping in the driver’s seat in a social situation and steering it in the direction you’d like it to go, you actually maintain your energy better than being held hostage as a passenger and watching the world go by.
Naturally, this doesn’t mean you should flail around like a dancing monkey desperately trying to get everyone’s attention and praise.
Instead, you take on the calm, self-assurance of a gorilla, whose presence alone radiates authority. When you speak, you do so freely and with conviction, knowing what you have to say matters and that others will listen. You don’t talk just to please others, nor do you say things to deliberately offend. You’re energized yet relaxed, earnest yet amused.
“Fine,” you say, “but how does being assertive make my life better?”
First of all, you feel better about yourself. Chances are, you get the sense that something’s holding you back in life and keeping you from reaching your potential. Once you decide to be who you truly are, you’ll realize you’re the one preventing your inner self from shining.
Second, people will behave differently around you. Some of the most common qualities of introverts – intelligence, compassion, and humility – are also among the most admired attributes in society. But unless you put yourself out there, people have no way of knowing you possess these desirable traits.
In order to achieve success in life, you’re going to have to give yourself permission to be awesome. Strangely enough, that’s the hardest part. Once you convince yourself of your excellence, others will believe it too.
The three pillars of success for Introvert Unbound are DATING, FRIENDS, and WORK. You may be further along in one area than another, but the ultimate goal is to achieve balance among all three, a condition best described as INTEGRITY, the “state of being whole and undivided.”
The funny/sad thing is that most people don’t want success. Sure, they may wish things were better, but when it comes down to it, they’re not actually willing to put in the hard work necessary for improvement.
Lots of people hate the fact that they’re miserable, but because it’s familiar to them, it’s a lot less frightening than the uncertainty that comes with change. But, as French author André Gide wrote, “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore.”
So what if you’re not afraid to embark on a journey to distant lands?
What if you don’t identify with the role of sad sack, chump, or loser, but instead see yourself as a trailblazer, a warrior, a legend in the making?
Are you one of those people? If so, congratulations!
That means that, deep down, you’re already an Introvert Unbound. Now it’s simply a matter of unlocking your potential.
And I, Wes Colton, am someone who can help you get there.