Is Cold-Approach Pickup Turning You Into a Weirdo?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

buffoonCold-approach pickup is one of the best ways for an introvert to improve his social skills.

Meeting high volumes of women in social settings is an effective way to get dates and even find a long-term partner. Yet the benefits of pickup extend beyond just getting laid, including honing your conversation skills, enhancing your assertiveness, and improving your self-confidence.

But there’s a dark side to pickup. And I’m not just talking about the tendency to sexually objectify women, the very real risks of sex addiction, and an increasing difficulty in forming stable relationships.

If you’re not careful, pickup can start to warp your personality, where every part of your being is so focused on what might get a girl to come home with you from a bar, that you start having trouble functioning in other social spheres.

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The Ten Commandments of Working from Home

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

10 commandments working from homeUsually, when I tell people I work from home, they say how jealous they are and wish they could do the same. While working at home isn’t an option for most jobs, an increasing number of employers allow it.

But the real issue is that, even if it’s a possibility, most people struggle to get any work done when they’re not at the office. Even introverts, for whom working at home without having to interact with anyone is a dream.

Am I seriously suggesting that it’s somehow difficult to stay in your cozy home all day, dressed however you want, in quiet, comfortable surroundings, with an unlimited supply of your favorite beverage always on hand?

Damn right I am.

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Are You in Dating Denial?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

plugging earsAre you in your twenties and not getting dates, but you think that’ll change if you replace your wardrobe, move to another apartment, or subscribe to that other dating app?

Are you in your thirties and never been in a long-term relationship with a woman who you see as your equal, but are sure you’ll meet her any day now?

Are you in your forties and just gone through a divorce or breakup and think diving back into the dating pool will be a piece of cake?

Basically, if you’re a guy who’s not where he wants to be dating-wise and you keep telling yourself that the problem will fix itself—you’re in dating denial.

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The Introvert Guy’s Guide to Making Friends

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound


Let’s face it: as an introvert guy it can be tough to make friends. In many ways it’s easier to go out and find women to date than it is to meet a dude friend to hang out with. Sadly, there’s even a bit of a stigma around doing so (“no homo,” etc.)

Most people make friends through school (elementary, high school, college), work, or social circle. In college, everyone is around the same age and living a similar life, so friendships are made pretty organically. But once you graduate and enter the “real world,” it’s not so easy.

Work can be a decent place to make friends, but that’s largely dependent on how many people work there. If it’s just a few of you, you travel a lot, or you work from home, you might not find anyone you resonate with. Friends of friends is perhaps the simplest way, but if you don’t have many friends to begin with, it’s not too helpful.

So what should an introvert guy do to make friends?

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Qualifying and Screening A Date

– by Wes Colton,  Introvert Unbound

Kvinde-emancipationQualifying—screening a woman you’re interested in for compatibility—is a win-win for both you and her. When you take the time to qualify a woman, you’re not just screwing everything that moves. You’re being discerning and only entering into relationships (be they short or long-term) that are mutually beneficial.

Because men so rarely screen a woman past whether she’s physically attractive or not, the fact that it’s so unusual might make her a little uncomfortable. But generally she’ll love it, because it shows she’s with a guy with standards who clearly has choice when it comes to women and therefore must be “high-quality.” Which means that, if she passes the tests, she must be something special, herself.

Qualification also amps up attraction like nothing else. Most dates involve a woman sitting back as a guy tries to “measure up.” By flipping the script, where she’s the one who has to impress you, she can’t help but be a little intrigued.

Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Qualifying is nothing more than asking a woman questions about herself so you can figure out if she’s the type of woman you want to date.

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How to Touch a Woman

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

man huggingWhether it’s a from cold-approach or on an Internet date, if you want to get intimate with a woman, at some point you’re going to have to touch her. So what’s the when, where, and how when it comes to physicality?

To simplify, let’s break things down into 3 stages of touching:

Stage 1Introductory: you’re introducing yourself.
Stage 2Familiar: you’re getting to know each other.
Stage 3Intimate: you’re sexualizing the interaction.

Obviously, these stages aren’t hard and fast rules, just guidelines for guys who might benefit from a bit of structure to their interactions and/or who are worried about making a woman uncomfortable. Depending on your personality and experience, you can jump into Stage 2 or sometimes even Stage 3 quite quickly, or use elements of any stage at any time.

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