Let’s face it: as an introvert guy it can be tough to make friends. In many ways it’s easier to go out and find women to date than it is to meet a dude friend to hang out with. Sadly, there’s even a bit of a stigma around doing so (“no homo,” etc.)
Most people make friends through school (elementary, high school, college), work, or social circle. In college, everyone is around the same age and living a similar life, so friendships are made pretty organically. But once you graduate and enter the “real world,” it’s not so easy.
Work can be a decent place to make friends, but that’s largely dependent on how many people work there. If it’s just a few of you, you travel a lot, or you work from home, you might not find anyone you resonate with. Friends of friends is perhaps the simplest way, but if you don’t have many friends to begin with, it’s not too helpful.
So what should an introvert guy do to make friends?
In the second installment of the Introvert Unbound Podcast with Wes Colton we speak with Branden who answers the age-old question: is the experience of a black man doing cold approach pickup any different?
Qualifying—screening a woman you’re interested in for compatibility—is a win-win for both you and her. When you take the time to qualify a woman, you’re not just screwing everything that moves. You’re being discerning and only entering into relationships (be they short or long-term) that are mutually beneficial.
Because men so rarely screen a woman past whether she’s physically attractive or not, the fact that it’s so unusual might make her a little uncomfortable. But generally she’ll love it, because it shows she’s with a guy with standards who clearly has choice when it comes to women and therefore must be “high-quality.” Which means that, if she passes the tests, she must be something special, herself.
Qualification also amps up attraction like nothing else. Most dates involve a woman sitting back as a guy tries to “measure up.” By flipping the script, where she’s the one who has to impress you, she can’t help but be a little intrigued.
Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Qualifying is nothing more than asking a woman questions about herself so you can figure out if she’s the type of woman you want to date.
Whether it’s a from cold-approach or on an Internet date, if you want to get intimate with a woman, at some point you’re going to have to touch her. So what’s the when, where, and how when it comes to physicality?
To simplify, let’s break things down into 3 stages of touching:
Stage 1 – Introductory: you’re introducing yourself. Stage 2 – Familiar: you’re getting to know each other. Stage 3 – Intimate: you’re sexualizing the interaction.
Obviously, these stages aren’t hard and fast rules, just guidelines for guys who might benefit from a bit of structure to their interactions and/or who are worried about making a woman uncomfortable. Depending on your personality and experience, you can jump into Stage 2 or sometimes even Stage 3 quite quickly, or use elements of any stage at any time.
A woman walks down the street, her hair dyed blonde, eyes smeared with purple eyeshadow and mascara, blush on her cheeks, bright red lipstick glistening, wearing a low-cut, form-fitting, oh-so-short dress.
Does this mean she wants to be ogled by men?
Some might say no, that she does it to feel good about herself and it has nothing to do with anyone else.
But if she really isn’t dolling herself up for attention, does that mean she spends the same amount of time on her appearance on a night when she’s sitting home alone with a pint of ice cream watching Netflix?
To the contrary, study after study has concluded that women dress most revealingly during the most fertile periods of their menstrual cycle. Which suggests the obvious: consciously or unconsciously, she’s trying to attract a man.