Nine Reasons You’re Not Getting Dates

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

crying manIf you’re a relatively healthy man between the ages of 18-50, you should be dating. I’m not talking about daily threesomes with NFL cheerleaders, but at least one encounter every so often with a woman you find attractive and whose company you enjoy.

Dating and having sex is good for you physically, increasing your testosterone levels and boosting your immunity. It’s also good for you mentally, because sex isn’t just about getting off, it’s about connection, and if you’re not feeling connected to society, you’re going to be depressed.

Of course, it’s a cruel cycle where not getting dates over longer and longer lengths of time can make you feel progressively shittier, making it even harder to access dates. But if you’re reading this, that’s hardly news.

If you’re not getting regular dates, I can almost guarantee that at least one—and likely more than one—of the below reasons applies to you. Work on these aspects and you’ll be one step closer to a healthy dating life.

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Is Cold-Approach “Pickup” Turning You Into a Weirdo?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

buffoonCold-approaching women is one of the best ways for an introvert to improve his social skills.

Meeting high volumes of women in social settings is an effective way to get dates and even find a long-term partner. Yet the benefits of cold-approach extend beyond just getting laid, including honing your conversation skills, enhancing your assertiveness, and improving your self-confidence.

But there’s a dark side to cold-approach. And I’m not just talking about the tendency to sexually objectify women, the very real risks of sex addiction, and an increasing difficulty in forming stable relationships.

If you’re not careful, cold-approach can start to warp your personality, where every part of your being is so focused on what might get a girl to come home with you from a bar, that you start having trouble functioning in other social spheres.

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The Ten Commandments of Working from Home

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

10 commandments working from homeUsually, when I tell people I work from home, they say how jealous they are and wish they could do the same. While working at home isn’t an option for most jobs, an increasing number of employers allow it.

But the real issue is that, even if it’s a possibility, most people struggle to get any work done when they’re not at the office. Even introverts, for whom working at home without having to interact with anyone is a dream.

Am I seriously suggesting that it’s somehow difficult to stay in your cozy home all day, dressed however you want, in quiet, comfortable surroundings, with an unlimited supply of your favorite beverage always on hand?

Damn right I am.

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Are You in Dating Denial?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

plugging earsAre you in your twenties and not getting dates, but you think that’ll change if you replace your wardrobe, move to another apartment, or subscribe to that other dating app?

Are you in your thirties and never been in a long-term relationship with a woman who you see as your equal, but are sure you’ll meet her any day now?

Are you in your forties and just gone through a divorce or breakup and think diving back into the dating pool will be a piece of cake?

Basically, if you’re a guy who’s not where he wants to be dating-wise and you keep telling yourself that the problem will fix itself—you’re in dating denial.

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The Introvert Guy’s Guide to Making Friends

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

friends
Graphic: TheBigAnswer.info

Let’s face it: as an introvert guy it can be tough to make friends. In many ways it’s easier to go out and find women to date than it is to meet a dude friend to hang out with. Sadly, there’s even a bit of a stigma around doing so (“no homo,” etc.)

Most people make friends through school (elementary, high school, college), work, or social circle. In college, everyone is around the same age and living a similar life, so friendships are made pretty organically. But once you graduate and enter the “real world,” it’s not so easy.

Work can be a decent place to make friends, but that’s largely dependent on how many people work there. If it’s just a few of you, you travel a lot, or you work from home, you might not find anyone you resonate with. Friends of friends is perhaps the simplest way, but if you don’t have many friends to begin with, it’s not too helpful.

So what should an introvert guy do to make friends?

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