If you’re an introvert, socializing probably isn’t your strong suit. But interacting well with people is the key to success in dating, friendships, and your career. Stop settling for less in your life—hone your strengths, shore up your weaknesses, and become the Introvert Unbound!
Cold-approach pickup is one of the best ways for an introvert to improve his social skills.
Meeting high volumes of women in social settings is an effective way to get dates and even find a long-term partner. Yet the benefits of pickup extend beyond just getting laid, including honing your conversation skills, enhancing your assertiveness, and improving your self-confidence.
But there’s a dark side to pickup. And I’m not just talking about the tendency to sexually objectify women, the very real risks of sex addiction, and an increasing difficulty in forming stable relationships.
If you’re not careful, pickup can start to warp your personality, where every part of your being is so focused on what might get a girl to come home with you from a bar, that you start having trouble functioning in other social spheres.
Usually, when I tell people I work from home, they say how jealous they are and wish they could do the same. While working at home isn’t an option for most jobs, an increasing number of employers allow it.
But the real issue is that, even if it’s a possibility, most people struggle to get any work done when they’re not at the office. Even introverts, for whom working at home without having to interact with anyone is a dream.
Am I seriously suggesting that it’s somehow difficult to stay in your cozy home all day, dressed however you want, in quiet, comfortable surroundings, with an unlimited supply of your favorite beverage always on hand?
Let’s face it: as an introvert guy it can be tough to make friends. In many ways it’s easier to go out and find women to date than it is to meet a dude friend to hang out with. Sadly, there’s even a bit of a stigma around doing so (“no homo,” etc.)
Most people make friends through school (elementary, high school, college), work, or social circle. In college, everyone is around the same age and living a similar life, so friendships are made pretty organically. But once you graduate and enter the “real world,” it’s not so easy.
Work can be a decent place to make friends, but that’s largely dependent on how many people work there. If it’s just a few of you, you travel a lot, or you work from home, you might not find anyone you resonate with. Friends of friends is perhaps the simplest way, but if you don’t have many friends to begin with, it’s not too helpful.
So what should an introvert guy do to make friends?
In the second installment of the Introvert Unbound Podcast with Wes Colton we speak with Branden who answers the age-old question: is the experience of a black man doing cold approach pickup any different?
Qualifying—screening a woman you’re interested in for compatibility—is a win-win for both you and her. When you take the time to qualify a woman, you’re not just screwing everything that moves. You’re being discerning and only entering into relationships (be they short or long-term) that are mutually beneficial.
Because men so rarely screen a woman past whether she’s physically attractive or not, the fact that it’s so unusual might make her a little uncomfortable. But generally she’ll love it, because it shows she’s with a guy with standards who clearly has choice when it comes to women and therefore must be “high-quality.” Which means that, if she passes the tests, she must be something special, herself.
Qualification also amps up attraction like nothing else. Most dates involve a woman sitting back as a guy tries to “measure up.” By flipping the script, where she’s the one who has to impress you, she can’t help but be a little intrigued.
Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Qualifying is nothing more than asking a woman questions about herself so you can figure out if she’s the type of woman you want to date.
Whether it’s a from cold-approach or on an Internet date, if you want to get intimate with a woman, at some point you’re going to have to touch her. So what’s the when, where, and how when it comes to physicality?
To simplify, let’s break things down into 3 stages of touching:
Stage 1 – Introductory: you’re introducing yourself. Stage 2 – Familiar: you’re getting to know each other. Stage 3 – Intimate: you’re sexualizing the interaction.
Obviously, these stages aren’t hard and fast rules, just guidelines for guys who might benefit from a bit of structure to their interactions and/or who are worried about making a woman uncomfortable. Depending on your personality and experience, you can jump into Stage 2 or sometimes even Stage 3 quite quickly, or use elements of any stage at any time.