PILLAR II: FRIENDS

Are your friends holding you back?

Is their nonstop complaining feeding your negativity? Are their destructive habits a bad influence? Do they disrespect you behind your back, or even to your face?

Or maybe you don’t have anyone you can call a friend at all?

It’s not a surprise that we quiet introverts have a harder time making friends than our chatty extrovert counterparts. But friendship is a basic human need without which even the most extreme introvert cannot thrive. It’s also one of the 3 pillars that make up the foundation of Introvert Unbound.

Most friendships start at school or work. The sad truth is that the older we get, the tougher it can be to make new friends. If you’re having a hard time finding buddies with whom you vibe and truly respect, it’s time to make some changes.

As funny as it sounds, there are a lot of parallels between dating and making guy friends. Both involve boosting your own self-image, honing your social skills, and understanding another’s psychology.

After college, I moved to a new city where I didn’t know a single person. I went to a concert and met a guy who seemed cool and we started hanging out. One on one, we had fun, but when he invited me to join his friends I felt like the odd man out.

A bit later, I met another guy and the same thing happened, we got along together but I just didn’t fit in with his friends.

I decided to experiment, and instead of trying to wedge myself into their thing, I organized an activity and invited both of my new friends. Sure enough, all three of us got along.

Each new person I’d meet, I’d invite to a get together with my two friends. It wasn’t always a success, but more often than not, everyone clicked. Before long, I had created my own social circle from scratch!

I’ve since lived in five other cities where I’ve done the exact same thing. I now have a network of friends around the country who I keep in touch with, visit and who visit me.

The truth about social groups is that someone needs to be the one to bring everyone together. As The Introvert Unbound, you’ll be that guy.

PILLAR III: WORK