What’s Your Dating Trajectory?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

trajectoryThanks to our limited social energy and fondness for alone time, the dating life of introverts is unlikely to be as active as that of extroverts. What that means is you’re doing yourself a disservice whenever you compare your situation to that of your chatty, hyper-social friends.

In fact, the only person whose social life you should measure your own against is yours over time!

Obviously, with anything as chaotic as dating, dips and spikes are inevitable. However, it can be helpful to take a moment to honestly answer this question: How is my dating life today compared to a year ago? That’s your dating trajectory.

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The Case Against Online Dating

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

skeleton smart phone-2Obviously, online dating is one of the main ways people meet these days. Many introverts in particular consider these apps and sites to be godsends, making it possible to get dates without leaving the house.

While there’s no question online dating can enhance many people’s dating lives, I’m going to explain why, as a dating coach, I don’t often recommend it to my clients.

(Editor’s note: This article will be primarily discussing heterosexual relationships, as this is my expertise.)

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Introverts & Dating Apps: 5 Tips to Help You Stay Sane

– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound

tinderHow long have you been on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, POF, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, Christian Singles, MeetMindful or Grindr? If you have used any of these for any length of time, your answer would probably be, “Way too long!” Being on these apps produces the illusion that there is an endless stream of new faces and bodies and the person on your screen is as quickly replaceable as the changing the song on your car radio. “Just swipe left if you don’t like them,” boast these apps.

Many introverts have an issue with these dating apps because introverts tend to value deep and meaningful human connections and dislike shallow and surface level interactions. However, these apps can be helpful, and as somebody who’s used them at various points, I can’t say they are all bad. But, they are a double-edged sword, to put it kindly.

With the sometimes limited focus on the person behind the face/body, it seems that dating apps promote an environment of expendability. And for introverts who crave deep meaning and connections when they do choose to expend their usually more limited social energy reserves, I can see why so many introverts in particular find dating apps to be disheartening at best and resentment/contempt-prompting at their worst.

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