Ditching the Introvert Crutch

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound 

3d-happy-man-jumping-throwing-crutches-3d-illustration-of-person-joyful-jump-throwing-crutches-3d-drawing_csp17031606-2Sorry to break it to you, but being an introvert isn’t an excuse for sucking at conversation. All too often we introverts let ourselves skip social engagements by pretending we weren’t born to interact with other humans. But that’s just a crutch and leaning on it keeps us from standing on our own two feet.

Accepting and embracing the fact that we’re introverts is key. But so is recognizing that we live in an extroverted society where regular socializing is crucial to our friendships, love life, and career. And, believe it or not, developing social skills can actually make the process a lot of fun.

If you find it impossible to strike up a conversation with a stranger, it’s simply because you haven’t tried it enough. Granted, it’s way easier for extroverts to practice this skill because not only do they enjoy blabbing about whatever crosses their mind, they’re addicted to doing so. While introverts recharge by reading a book, watching a movie, or going on a hike, extroverts get their energy by talking to people.

But just because it’s harder for us introverts, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Socializing is really just a habit, so as soon as you start doing it, it becomes routine. And if you do it long enough, you’ll feel weird if you stop (the same thing goes for hiding at home, of course).

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Introverts & Dating Apps: 5 Tips to Help You Stay Sane

– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound

tinderHow long have you been on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, POF, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, Christian Singles, MeetMindful or Grindr? If you have used any of these for any length of time, your answer would probably be, “Way too long!” Being on these apps produces the illusion that there is an endless stream of new faces and bodies and the person on your screen is as quickly replaceable as the changing the song on your car radio. “Just swipe left if you don’t like them,” boast these apps.

Many introverts have an issue with these dating apps because introverts tend to value deep and meaningful human connections and dislike shallow and surface level interactions. However, these apps can be helpful, and as somebody who’s used them at various points, I can’t say they are all bad. But, they are a double-edged sword, to put it kindly.

With the sometimes limited focus on the person behind the face/body, it seems that dating apps promote an environment of expendability. And for introverts who crave deep meaning and connections when they do choose to expend their usually more limited social energy reserves, I can see why so many introverts in particular find dating apps to be disheartening at best and resentment/contempt-prompting at their worst.

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Weathering Breakups as an Introvert

– by Wes Colton

heartbrokenIt doesn’t matter who you are, breakups suck. You invested anything from months to years in this person, sharing your body, heart, and mind, and now they’re gone, possibly forever. It’s almost as if they’ve died, but worse, in some ways—at least if they were dead you wouldn’t have to worry about running into them with their new “bae” at the grocery store.

But breakups are typically worse for introverts than extroverts. It’s not that extroverts don’t miss their exes just as much as introverts do, it’s that extroverts’ addiction to socializing means they’ll be out playing the field again in no time. In fact, they’re probably looking forward to getting out there again.

Introverts, on the other hand, tend to compound the heartbreak with crippling, existential dread. “You’re saying that I’ve got to sift through dozens—if not hundreds—of incompatible, draining humanoids before I find another of those rare specimens I can actually stand?”

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