Wes talks about generating good feelings without depending on anyone but yourself.
– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound
How long have you been on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, POF, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, Christian Singles, MeetMindful or Grindr? If you have used any of these for any length of time, your answer would probably be, “Way too long!” Being on these apps produces the illusion that there is an endless stream of new faces and bodies and the person on your screen is as quickly replaceable as the changing the song on your car radio. “Just swipe left if you don’t like them,” boast these apps.
Many introverts have an issue with these dating apps because introverts tend to value deep and meaningful human connections and dislike shallow and surface level interactions. However, these apps can be helpful, and as somebody who’s used them at various points, I can’t say they are all bad. But, they are a double-edged sword, to put it kindly.
With the sometimes limited focus on the person behind the face/body, it seems that dating apps promote an environment of expendability. And for introverts who crave deep meaning and connections when they do choose to expend their usually more limited social energy reserves, I can see why so many introverts in particular find dating apps to be disheartening at best and resentment/contempt-prompting at their worst.
– by Wes Colton
It doesn’t matter who you are, breakups suck. You invested anything from months to years in this person, sharing your body, heart, and mind, and now they’re gone, possibly forever. It’s almost as if they’ve died, but worse, in some ways—at least if they were dead you wouldn’t have to worry about running into them with their new “bae” at the grocery store.
But breakups are typically worse for introverts than extroverts. It’s not that extroverts don’t miss their exes just as much as introverts do, it’s that extroverts’ addiction to socializing means they’ll be out playing the field again in no time. In fact, they’re probably looking forward to getting out there again.
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to compound the heartbreak with crippling, existential dread. “You’re saying that I’ve got to sift through dozens—if not hundreds—of incompatible, draining humanoids before I find another of those rare specimens I can actually stand?”
Wes talks about how important it is to put yourself out there as an introvert when it comes to dating (apologies for the background noise–it gets windy at 12,000 feet!).
Wes talks about how important it is for introverts to know where they’re going.