A New Definition for Introversion

– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound

introvert head

Introversion is typically defined by where you get your “energy.” Even in grad school when I was studying introversion vs. extroversion in depth, the energy definition was the one that was taught. All the books I read and lectures from my professors told me, “It’s about if you get your energy from being around others, or being alone that determines your preference for introversion or extroversion.” While I accepted this definition and went along my merry way, I never really bought into it 100%.

As fresh information comes to light and we learn new things, we re-vamp old definitions and ideas. While I’m not completely dismissing the original definition of introversion, more than 10 years later, I found a definition I like better and feels more accurate to me. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, stated in a TIME article in 2012 that introversion is really about a preference for less stimulation. When I heard that definition, it just rang more true for me.

Continue reading “A New Definition for Introversion”

5 Introvert Dating Advantages 

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

couple-readingIt’s hard to deny that dating tends to be easiest for extroverts, particularly in the early stages where self-advertising is the name of the game.

The good news, however, is there are several ways in which we introverts have a leg up on our chatty counterparts.

1. Deep Connectors

Introverts prefer close friendships over superficial acquaintances, which can be a major asset in the dating world. When a woman realizes you’re actually interested in getting to know her as a person instead of just one more notch on the bedpost, it can send you right to the front of the line.

2. Good Listeners

Women often (and rightfully) complain that men don’t know how to shut up. Luckily, listening is a quality introverts have in spades. Leaving space for her to speak–while showing genuine interest in what she has to say–can be as important as what comes out of your mouth.

3. Thoughtful Speakers

Thinking before speaking is a tell-tale sign of an introvert. While this filter can sometimes slow down our tongues, the good news is it also usually keeps us from saying anything unkind, rude, or just plain stupid.

4. Empathizers

Similar to our listening skills, introverts’ ever-present discomfort in social situations can train us to pick up cues that our date might be uncomfortable as well. This can range from noticing she’s too cold, the music too loud, or you’re moving things too quickly (or slowly). Being perceptive about another’s needs is a very attractive quality, indeed.

5. Independent

Extroverts have trouble functioning without people around them, which can come across as needy (because it is). Meanwhile, introverts who value their alone time demonstrate independence, a huge turn on to a lot of women.

Needless to say, there are many more than five qualities that give us introverts that dating edge. Got any, yourself? Go ahead and leave them in the comments!