– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
Obviously, online dating is one of the main ways people meet these days. Many introverts in particular consider these apps and sites to be godsends, making it possible to get dates without leaving the house.
While there’s no question online dating can enhance many people’s dating lives, I’m going to explain why, as a dating coach, I don’t often recommend it to my clients.
(Editor’s note: This article will be primarily discussing heterosexual relationships, as this is my expertise.)
Continue reading “The Case Against Online Dating”
On episode #11 of the Introvert Unbound Podcast, Wes Colton & Regina Hopkins LPC discuss the difference between becoming a more social introvert vs. putting on a fake “extrovert” persona.
Download or stream here.
-by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
I get it. You’re not where you want to be in life and you’re overwhelmed by all the hard work it’s going to take to get there.
You’re constantly bombarded with advice from friends, family, coaches, therapists, and gurus: Read books. Socialize more. Lift weights. Take classes. Change your diet. Find a new career. All of these options—many of which aren’t right for you now or contradict one another—no wonder you’re starting to tune them out.
Obviously, you can’t do everything at once. The key is to pick a single area and make that your focus for a while.
Continue reading “Skipping a Level Isn’t the Same as Beating It”
– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
One of the biggest introvert pet peeves is “small talk.” That’s usually because deep-delvers such as ourselves don’t want to waste our precious social energy on petty topics like weather or sports scores, but instead connect on issues that matter to us.
This quest for meaning is one of introverts’ most admirable traits. Unfortunately, with most people, it’s not always possible to get into such weighty matters right off the bat. For example, it comes across as a little weird to introduce yourself for the first time to a stranger and then immediately ask, “So, do you think there’s such a thing as pure good and evil?”
When people get together with strangers, they’re sussing one another out. So it’s understandable that a lot of folks are wary about baring their souls to people they don’t know the first thing about. And that’s really what small talk is about.
Continue reading “Reframing Small Talk”
Wes talks about the importance of an introvert knowing when they’re pushing themselves too hard.
Wes reveals how he transitions from introverting to socializing.
– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound
It’s rare for a woman to approach a man. But, should you be such a lucky guy who does get approached your odds are better than not that the woman is definitely interested and probably feels at least some attraction for you (and more than likely, quite a bit of attraction!). I know because I’m a woman and this scenario happened to me this past week.
I’d like to tell you about my recent experience where I was the one to approach a guy I was interested in at the gym. As a more “traditional gender-role” person, I do tend to prefer to ascribe to the customary roles of the man approaching me, however in this particular case, I didn’t sense that I might get a chance to talk to this guy if I wasn’t the one to open that door first. I also know enough about myself that I sometimes can self-sabotage my own natural body language and suppress it, especially with guys I may actually be interested in. Because I would say I do not naturally display those typical subtle female flirting signals, I decided I needed a slightly more direct approach to indicate I was open and receptive.
After I share my story, I’ll break down my own approach technique so that you may learn from what I did and use it in your own approaches with women. And if you’re anything like me, approaching somebody you’re actually into is a nerve wrecking experience. But, on the other hand, if you don’t do it, you might let a fantastic opportunity slip through your fingers.
Now, I also realize that the tactics for approaching women versus men can be different, however the initial greeting won’t be all that different. So I will give you some general “guidelines” to follow whether you’re a man or woman (whoever is doing the initiating) or opening the conversation “cold approach” style so that you may hopefully be successful and have a positive outcome.
Continue reading “A Woman’s Take on “Cold Approach””