– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
Thanks to our limited social energy and fondness for alone time, the dating life of introverts is unlikely to be as active as that of extroverts. What that means is you’re doing yourself a disservice whenever you compare your situation to that of your chatty, hyper-social friends.
In fact, the only person whose social life you should measure your own against is yours over time!
Obviously, with anything as chaotic as dating, dips and spikes are inevitable. However, it can be helpful to take a moment to honestly answer this question: How is my dating life today compared to a year ago? That’s your dating trajectory.
Continue reading “What’s Your Dating Trajectory?”
On episode #22 of the Introvert Unbound Podcast, Wes brings back his very first guest, Clint, to explain why he’s canceling all his online dating subscriptions.
Stream or download here.
– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound
One of the biggest introvert pet peeves is “small talk.” That’s usually because deep-delvers such as ourselves don’t want to waste our precious social energy on petty topics like weather or sports scores, but instead connect on issues that matter to us.
This quest for meaning is one of introverts’ most admirable traits. Unfortunately, with most people, it’s not always possible to get into such weighty matters right off the bat. For example, it comes across as a little weird to introduce yourself for the first time to a stranger and then immediately ask, “So, do you think there’s such a thing as pure good and evil?”
When people get together with strangers, they’re sussing one another out. So it’s understandable that a lot of folks are wary about baring their souls to people they don’t know the first thing about. And that’s really what small talk is about.
Continue reading “Reframing Small Talk”
Wes reveals how he transitions from introverting to socializing.
– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound
It’s rare for a woman to approach a man. But, should you be such a lucky guy who does get approached your odds are better than not that the woman is definitely interested and probably feels at least some attraction for you (and more than likely, quite a bit of attraction!). I know because I’m a woman and this scenario happened to me this past week.
I’d like to tell you about my recent experience where I was the one to approach a guy I was interested in at the gym. As a more “traditional gender-role” person, I do tend to prefer to ascribe to the customary roles of the man approaching me, however in this particular case, I didn’t sense that I might get a chance to talk to this guy if I wasn’t the one to open that door first. I also know enough about myself that I sometimes can self-sabotage my own natural body language and suppress it, especially with guys I may actually be interested in. Because I would say I do not naturally display those typical subtle female flirting signals, I decided I needed a slightly more direct approach to indicate I was open and receptive.
After I share my story, I’ll break down my own approach technique so that you may learn from what I did and use it in your own approaches with women. And if you’re anything like me, approaching somebody you’re actually into is a nerve wrecking experience. But, on the other hand, if you don’t do it, you might let a fantastic opportunity slip through your fingers.
Now, I also realize that the tactics for approaching women versus men can be different, however the initial greeting won’t be all that different. So I will give you some general “guidelines” to follow whether you’re a man or woman (whoever is doing the initiating) or opening the conversation “cold approach” style so that you may hopefully be successful and have a positive outcome.
Continue reading “A Woman’s Take on “Cold Approach””
Wes talks about finding the happy medium between social contraction and expansion as an introvert. How do you find your balance?
On episode #7 of the Introvert Unbound Podcast, Wes Colton finds out how Jeremiah, a 35 year-old introvert man, is transforming his social life by refusing to stay within his comfort zone.
Stream or download the episode here.