When Should You Give Up On Dating?

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

graphicstock-cartoon-man-waving-white-flag_S78tlpumV-_thumbA surprising number of people—mostly young heterosexual men—are giving up on dating. While it’s true some of those calling it quits are doing so out of a desire to spend more time on their career or other worthwhile pursuits, for most of them it’s because they can’t find any suitable partners.

One poll reported 28 percent of men under the age of thirty didn’t have sex at all in 2018, numbers that have tripled over the last decade and are continuing to spike. While many men are still putting themselves out there, for others the disappointment and frustration have turned into despair and resentment and they’ve thrown in the towel completely.

It’s my personal opinion that if a man chooses not to interact with women that’s his business and I respect his decision. However, as a dating coach I can tell you the vast majority of men who have abandoned dating have done so too soon.

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The Case Against Online Dating

– by Wes Colton, Introvert Unbound

skeleton smart phone-2Obviously, online dating is one of the main ways people meet these days. Many introverts in particular consider these apps and sites to be godsends, making it possible to get dates without leaving the house.

While there’s no question online dating can enhance many people’s dating lives, I’m going to explain why, as a dating coach, I don’t often recommend it to my clients.

(Editor’s note: This article will be primarily discussing heterosexual relationships, as this is my expertise.)

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Introverts & Dating Apps: 5 Tips to Help You Stay Sane

– by Regina Hopkins, Introvert Unbound

tinderHow long have you been on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, POF, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, Christian Singles, MeetMindful or Grindr? If you have used any of these for any length of time, your answer would probably be, “Way too long!” Being on these apps produces the illusion that there is an endless stream of new faces and bodies and the person on your screen is as quickly replaceable as the changing the song on your car radio. “Just swipe left if you don’t like them,” boast these apps.

Many introverts have an issue with these dating apps because introverts tend to value deep and meaningful human connections and dislike shallow and surface level interactions. However, these apps can be helpful, and as somebody who’s used them at various points, I can’t say they are all bad. But, they are a double-edged sword, to put it kindly.

With the sometimes limited focus on the person behind the face/body, it seems that dating apps promote an environment of expendability. And for introverts who crave deep meaning and connections when they do choose to expend their usually more limited social energy reserves, I can see why so many introverts in particular find dating apps to be disheartening at best and resentment/contempt-prompting at their worst.

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